Nip Tuck

Since my brother had the link on his site, I decided to go ahead and Simpsonize myself too...

Also I left a smart comment on his, so Jim feel free to comment.  

Here's what I'd look like if I lived in Springfield, USA:

Here's the photo I used for "Simpsonation".

   

Do you think Jim and I look more related animated?

Where I'm at Today

Not physically - although it's North Carolina for those still trying to keep up.  But only for 4 more weeks, then I'm off to south Florida for the winter.

I meant where I'm at today in the spiritual sense.  

I have had four beautiful months in the mountains, full of inner exploration, quiet time, and self discovery.  The gifts and the way God has provided for me has been infinite.   The scars of last year have started to heal - still very raw, but less tender.  My backyard, my playgrounds are truly majestic.   My financial future seems mostly secure.  Life has sifted the friends that probably were not the best influence and reintroduced those who will be a lifetime friendship.

And yet my prayers are still full of wanting more.

This nomadic lifestyle is not what I wanted.   These gifts are not what I asked for.  The physical lonely steals the shine from the spiritual gifts.    The Darkness dims the Light.   I wanted a home.  I wanted girlfriends that I can go out to dinner with.  I wanted a church home where I connect with others week after week.   I want to belong somewhere.

Oh what God (and probably you reading this) must think of me.   

I'm frustrated.  I'm lonely.  I'm spiritually exhausted.

I know I should be content. Fulfilled. Renewed.  

I'm not. 

I struggle with knowing God's plan is better than what I could even begin to ask for.  I struggle with the silence.   I struggle with not having control or a glimpse of my future.   I struggle with the fact that I had all the things (material) that I wanted and now its all gone.    

I'm ungrateful.  I'm selfish.  I'm sinful.

Thankfully, despite myself, I know I'm still one of God's beloved. 

That's where I'm at today.

whew!

four states.  

one week.

tons of laughs.

lots of pictures.

but first.

sleep.

i heart NC

 

exploring chattooga headwaters trail.

bust your butt falls.  yes, mother that is the name :)

black-eyed susans and rainbow falls.

looking down rainbow falls

found shelter under a granite rock during an hour long intense rainstorm.