When God Says Hush!

My blog friend Amanda asked me quite awhile ago to write on the subject of how I practice being silent before God.   More in the sense of meditation, rather than giving Him the silent treatment.

Unfortunately, I have been giving Him more of the silent treatment, rather than taking the time to practice the discipline of being silent BEFORE Him and learning to listen.

So, today, instead of writing a post on how I try to LISTEN to HIM, I’ll share how HE makes me silent.  

It’s a painfully blessed discipline from Him.  One lesson, that He makes me repeatedly learn.  And after He does I always through my tears, count my blessings.

I’m back living in Jacksonville.   My eyes well up with tears just typing that.   It’s hard to believe life has circled back here.  Never has one city encompassed so much emotion for me.   Some good, some bad, some self-inflicted, some not.  There’s just a lot of history here for me.   

I’m a forward motion person.  It’s hard for me to look back and reflect.   And that is what is being required of me stepping back into life here.

I’ve known for a couple of months that the move to Jax was in coming.  However, I did almost everything in my power to crowd my life with so many worldly activities that I scarcely had time to stress or address how this was effecting (affecting? help grammar police) my spiritual life. 

In the process of be so busy, I began giving God the silent treatment.  I don’t think I intentionally started the practice.  It's just so easy to do.   

 My prayers became more rushed.  Morning devotionals were skimmed, or not made time for.  I stopped going to church.  Then eventually, I took the mindset that I was doing this all on my own anyway.  After awhile my spiritual life went completely silent.

Flat-lined would be a better description.

Then, once again, HE steps in and silents ME.    Worldly, false crutches have been stripped away.  Foolishness has been disciplined.   And decisions based on unrighteous knowledge have been exposed by His truth.   Ouch.

And, honestly?  It’s not the first time I’ve found myself here.  I’ve confessed to it before.  But having circled this block before, thankfully I can recognize how to get back to where I need to be…..   Silent before HIM.  Listening.  Learning. Loving.

It hurts when your Father says no.  But oh so beneficial.